It takes very little to make me happy…
The sound of rain, the fragrance of a book, soft music playing somewhere, watching clouds soar by, the sunset, voices of the night, the smell of earth after the rains, the rustle of leaves in the wind, a cup of hot strong coffee, a pillow to hug and sleep, getting wet in the rain, walking along a beach hand in hand with that special person, chocolate melting in my mouth, going to sleep at 3 am and waking up at 12 noon, singing aloud, writing in a new book…

It takes very little to put me off…
Absence of anything to read, having nothing to do, people squabbling, pessimism, a day without speaking to my loved ones, bad smells, animal slaughter, getting stuck while trying to write…

It takes very little to confuse me…
Is it better to do something and then wishing you had not done it? Or nor doing it at all? is it worth making your point if all you earn is a scowl on other’s faces? Why does money hold so much to people when they are aware it can never buy love? Why does Donald duck refuse to wear pants? How can people kill animals and eat them? And yet maintain that they are kind and gentle?...

It takes very little to hate me…
Am hot tempered, hot headed, frank to the point of being ruthlessly blunt, extremely moody, arrogant sometimes, stubborn most times, happen to be in the thick of too many things at once, without even wanting to, I scream, I slam doors, make books, glasses and spoons fly, get offended easily, get irritated easily…

silences

this is killing me the silences...how long can one lie down listening to the rain drops? the wind? the birds twittering? forever would have been my answer sometime earlier.not anymore. its maddening. i roam about my home aimlessly my feverish head telling me i need to lie down but somehow am fed of lying down. just lying down with nothing to do or lets say not having enough in you to do anything, when all you have to look forward to are the timings of your medicines and the chiming of the clock..no wonder i still feel ill having completely recovered.

its at these times that perhaps hearing a voice means so much. when just a simple 'hello' through the phone across miles speaks more than a million words. its when you actually feel better.

i could not but help think about them then, those who have not been as lucky as us..those who have not been blessed with the gift of speech, and hearing. and perhaps all those who have so much challenges before them. i can always call up the person i want to talk to, just to hear his voice, just to convince myself he is there. i can always put on a music to suit my moods. i can sing when i want to. i can call out to people. i can walk. i can run. i can sit. i can stand. but around us arent there many among us who have been denied these privileges?

as someone once told me...arent we lucky to have eyes that see ears that hear and legs that walk? yes arent we? and yet we forget so much. in the race for finding 'bigger' joys we lose out on these little things which in actuality means so much. can any of us think of a day without having the ability to see? to hear? if when we can't why don't we try to make the most out of our lives? as helen keller said-see as u mite be blind tomorrow, hear-as u might be deaf tomorrow, live-as if u might die tomorrow....

a write up-just like that

perhaps this is one of those very rare times when I've sat down to write not because i am itching to write. but because i have nothing better to do. and also because i have a whole pool of thoughts swimming inside my head and i just want to let it settle than swirling them again and make it murkier still...

i happened to read a blog yesterday of my friend wherein he speaks about complex numbers...definitely not my cup of tea.. but he compared it to life and equated it to the real and complex parts. he speaks about how life would have been simpler if the complex or imaginary part was zero...nil..nought..nothing. and it just occurred to me as to how mundane and boring a life would be if i had everything my way...i would forget to enjoy life. i wouldn't know the sheer jubilation of being up every time i fell down. i would perhaps get bored with happiness. now that i have my share of disappointments and sadness and frustrations and desperation, every bit of luck and joy that comes my way is celebrated...i feel jubilant...but yes cant help agreeing with him sometimes as to how i too wish life were not so complicated...but as someone once told me...the questions that life puts forth are simple...its just that the answers make it seem complex...

i kept thinking yesterday how certain people and situations mean to me...and how people who mattered once don't figure in my life anymore as to how some people who never existed for me become so indispensable today.. and the most disturbing part...as to how me too would cease to exist for many a person, as to how me too would mean so much to many...how it was so easy to talk about something that you'd once wished u'd never have to recall...how mechanically it came out...

i have been scornful earlier of people who were fiercely dependant...i could never understand why they couldnt do things on their own...as to why they had to have someone behind them all the time. even now i am not hugely fond of stickos. and i keep telling my sister not to be one. but then again now that i think about it...aren't i too dependant? i cannot exist a day without rambling off everything that happend from the point i brushed my teeth in the morning to the time when i put on my night cap. what would i have done had i not had anyone to listen to me? to scold me for my stupidity? to mock me for my 'slowness' to spur me on when i needed it, to hug me when i was down? what would i have done? and it makes me feel bad that there have been times when i have been right down scornful in my forthright and perhaps brutal ways of people whom i considered 'weaker'(forgive the deregatory term) than me. but again am proud that i was there for them...but i wish i were a bit more graceful.

and now am stuck as to how to conclude this piece of er...writing!!??i guess i thought writing would help me sort out my thoughts...but turns out i reached nowhere....

me!me!me

Eye Color: Black.
Hair Color: Dark brown/Black.
Rightly or Lefty: Rightly!
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Shoe Size: 9(ya big foot i know!!)
Drink: Pepsi, Coca-Cola,buttermil(yummy)frappe(double yummy)
Holiday: is any day
Number: 6
Ice Cream Flavor: any will do.... loved black current...having doubts ever sinc ppl started reamrkin it tastes like cough syrup
Amusement Park Ride: tora tora.
Season: summer! winter!spring! rainy is the best
Sport:Cricket,tennis,football




Which one:???????

Hip hop or pop: melodies
Rap or Rock: naaaaa
Movies or plays : movies any day
Silver or Gold: Silver!
Hot or Cold: Both
Winter or Summer: winter
Spring or Summer: spring
Operas or Plays: plays...what r operas by the way
Music Old or New: old
Colored or Black and White: both.
Dogs or Cats: Dogs
Black or White: black
Ribbons or Bows: neither
Cars or Trucks: trains


Have You Ever:
Told a Secret: Yes.
Broken a Bone: yes.
Got into a Fight: Yes...verbal and physical. physical biff bang thud with my sister. verbal with anyone who knows to talk
Plotted Against Someone: hmmm...na i guess :D
Been on TV: yup
Been on the Radio: Nope.
Been to a Concert:Yes
Drank Alcohol: nops
Broken the Law: rules yes....just started driving...so guess this will need updatin LOL
Been on an Airplane:yes
Came Close to Dying: na
Won a Trophy or Medal: yuppies
Believe In Miracles: Yea.
Like The Taste Of Alcohol: dunno haven tasted
Believe In Magic: the kind in harry potter? yes!!yes!!yes!!
Have Any Pets: nopes
Plan To Go To College: been there doen that
Wear Hats: nopes
Hate Yourself: No way...am in love with myself
Wish On Stars: when I was younger LOL.
Like Your Handwriting:well its not bad(p.s am being very very modest)
Believe In Ghosts: Ya.
Have A Weakness: Ya..in fact make it 'many weaknesses'

1. The last person I kissed was: No comment.
2. Never in my life have I: been shot at...thinkin of joining the army
3. The one person who can drive me nuts:anyone anyday...its not too hard
4. When I'm nervous: I bite my nails
5. The last time I cried was: er...er....
6. If I were to get married right now :i would change from Miss vrinda to a Mrs
7. My hair: I love my hair....wish it were curly tho
8. Last Christmas: was a regular day.
9. I should be: crazy writing this
10. When I look in the mirror I see: Me... stupid question
11. If I were a comic character I'd be :CAPTAIN HADDOCK
12. By this time next year: I'd be one year,6 months and 2 days older
13. Current status: taken!
14. I have a hard time understanding: why donald duck refuses to wear pants
15. One time at a family gathering: i had to sing coz ppl were refusing to leave
16. You know I like you if: u like me and stop asking too many questions
17. If I won an award, the first person (people) I would thank would be: ma family
18. Take my advice: i have no use for it anyways
19. My ideal breakfast is: no breakfast
20.Given a wish:i would fast forward 5 years
21. Where do i plan to visit anytime soon: HELL N HEAVEN wanna knw hw it luks
22. If you spend the night at my house: You would probably have to sleep on the floor. i dont share my room

23. The world could do without: idiots...am an exception
24. if i saw god :i'll ask him wat does he mean my makin me wait
25. Most recent thing someone else bought for me:chocolate...my survial kit
26. A better name for me would be:anamika
27. I really want to learn: to fly a plane
28. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: another human being...nothing cud be weirder
29. I shouldn't have: everything!! he he....

30. Once, at a movie:i cried because i could ahve bought myself a big chocolate with the money i spent on the 'movie'

Random Ramblings-part 3

I have been thinking about what am about to write now for quite a few days. was in a dilemma as to how to put it on paper. because this time the thoughts are more random than usual. an attempt would never be out of place however, and hence this third part in random ramblings.

ever wondered how naming relations limit them? every day we make new relations, with new faces. some relations which happened, some which existed before you even found out you existed, others which you felt did rather exist not. how many such? a mother, father, sister, brother, friend, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grand father, friend, husband, lover...every day a new relation. every day a new name to an unknown face.

the saddest part of these supposed to be comfort zone of relationships is the expectation part. you expect a mother to be loving, caring, forgiving...a father to be protective,someone to admire, to emulate, a grandmother is your mentor, the repertoire of stories, a friend-your shoulder to cry on, your partner in crime...you tend to define people by the role they play in your life. in a sense stereotyping relations. and then probably you end up complaining as to how the same relations choke you.

what about those relations which give you the best of everything? which are perfect yet nameless? which have no boundaries and hence no expectations? what about these relationships ?

this time this post is ridiculously random. bringing to light my handicap of not being able to do justice to the

most genuine of thoughts which has been plaguing me for quite some time now....

random ramblings-contd

1.they say love is the most splendid feeling in the world. i couldnt agree more. its the best state, feeling, everything. but i wonder why many a person whom we considered ideal matches ceased to be so and why many other relations seem to go on and on as if they have not yet done with their honeymoon. i wonderwhy people take love so carelessly sometimes. i mean if you are sure that he/or she is the right person for you, and they are in your life, why do people take it for granted? nothing works that way. true love comes only once. and to a very chosen few. i would cherish it and give it my evrything. coz thats the only way i know to love. and thts the way i'll always be. it saddens me that people give and spend so much less time-quality time with their loved ones. not just lovers, but all those people who care. if you are in love, cherish it. and treasure it. you are one of thsoe very few lucky ones.

2.bored of boredom!! seriously. these days all i get to do is to breathe. a very time consuming activity which takes place 24X7 and takes up all of my time. who am i kidding? guess boredom has reached new heights. and so has my laziness. imagine getting up at 8 am, waiting for my parents to leave for work at 8.30, go back and hit the sack again and get up at 11, oops i do brush my teeth in btw. sit in front of the paper, yawn at the obvious lack of interesting topics to read, think about having a nice hot strong cup of coffee, but skip it coz making it is a bother and ther's always the washing up to do afterwards, sit in front of my system, log in to orkut, see no one online, well people as unempyoled as me are perhaps rare species. sigh, coz no scraps to reply to. go check my cell. no miss calls no messages. sigh again. lie on the bed. think about something, keep thinking about it even after you wake up, coz thinkin alwys puts me to sleep, a minimum of one hour guaranteed. get up again. put on the tv. see the repeats of soem dumb K-serials. look at 'lookable' guys. switch of the tv. go to the kitchen have food. sleep again.....gosh and its only 12 noon. seriously am bored even writing about my industirous hours...and yes lazy too....signing off. ciao

mazha

Etho raagathin thaalamay
Etho naadathin swaramay
Etho bhaavathin thanalaay
Enikkay peythu thorunnu
Ennum ee mazha

Ennum en kali vanjikalkaai
Veeshi ulayunna venjamarangalkkai
Anayathe kathunna en nenjin jvaalakkai
Ennum peyyunnu
Enikkai maathram ee mazha

Ekayam neelambarathin saandramaam koottay
Peythu thoraatha kanneerumay
Maunam vaachaalamaakkunna nombarangalkkai
Peythu thoroo orikkal koodi
Ennum enikkai maathram

Friend or lover?

Hand in hand
We walked on the sand
Beyond the woods
And away from the birds
On a wooden bench we sat

Love was in the air
And sweet was its smell
As eyes met eyes
I wondered

Was this friendship in love?
Or was this love in friendship?
Even as our hands broke apart
I never knew
Was this friendship in love?
Was he my lover or my friend?

Random Ramblings

1. am sick and tired of people making a hue and cry in the name of religion. why cant people let others be? i know it is easier said than done. but its just that opening the morning paper (er...in the afternoons mostly) to reports of religious violence is pathetic. the recent controversy about M.F hussain and the student from Baroda. are we people so fickle in our faiths that we let fictional novels and cartoons and paintings unhinge us? well ok they could have spared gods and godesses. but just think about it-everyone except most christians welcomed Da Vinci Code and branded it a great read. so is the case with the cartoon of Nabi and the painting of Goddess Saraswati. for heaven's sake, just consider these "ART" and nothing more. my faith is not going to be shattered even if people go about making paintings or cartoons or books about gods. i believe God. in what form he exists is immaterial. let him be krishna, shiva hanuman or Ganesha, he could also be nabi or ?Jesus christ, after all religion is supposed to provide solace to troubled minds, a place where you seek reassurance that your troubles will be sorted out. on the contrary if the same religion is teh root cause of troubles and violence, i'd rather remain an atheist

2. why do i burst out always and end up hurting others? and more often me more than the other person? something like the victim being the victimised. and then again why have i not been able to blast out at that special person? i guess i have answered it myself earlier but it kinda plays on my mind again. did i just become mature with the person concerned or am i actually getting there...maturity i mean!

3.getting lost- this is what i do almost always. no am a pretty good globe trotter. in the sense i do have a fairly good sense of direction. i was talking about my emotions. and the thoughts that my mind conjures. most often i end up where i belong and then end up on a plane very different from the one i started from. its disturbing at times coz i lose track of what i actually wanted to think. but on the flip side, it is really really intruiging, the mind plays.

a lot of trash

i am sitting here in front of my system, the net connection on, the music turned on(as usual),my animation project taking a while to render(as usual again).my mind is at its confused best. its taking long winded yet quick journeys through oft traversed paths, leaving me confused,elated but for the most part drained. its funny how sometimes thinking of beautiful things leave you exhausted and drained and funnier still how you laugh thinking about those times when you had shed a tear.

here i was, with practically nothing to do, though from somewhere a guilty voice reminds me of many a promise made, i chose to ignore it. and carried on with my nothingness, my mad thoughts for company. am in one of those moods when everything is going smooth and yet i walk around with the sky-has-fallen on my head air. i cant seem to get out of it. or should i say i was and am not trying? i guess so. but what the heck.

if i could just move as fast as my mind does or at least put a rein to it, and take time to rest in the shadow of some pleasant memories that my mind deemed fit to travel through...i would perhaps get out of my moods faster. but there is one weird thing, once i get in one of those moods, i kind of enjoy being in them, in the sense i dont exactly revel in it or have a 100 watt smile in place, but i dont try too hard to get out of it,one reson for it perhaps bein that i enjoy being in good spirits all the more after i get out of my moods.

i dont know what i ahve written here. another indication of my state. i guess i have gotten myself convinced that i am in a bad mood. and that too without any slid reason. no not without any.i do have my reaosns. but reasons which are baseless and about which i can do nothing about.and perhaps those reasons which are putting me off betetr remain that way.coz i couldn ask for a better life than the one i am leading now. and i really cant afford to be demanding, when god in all his benevolance has given me so much.

signing off after having written nothing...or what seems like nothing