Custom Search

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Random Ramblings-part 3

I have been thinking about what am about to write now for quite a few days. was in a dilemma as to how to put it on paper. because this time the thoughts are more random than usual. an attempt would never be out of place however, and hence this third part in random ramblings.
ever wondered how naming relations limit them? every day we make new relations, with new faces. some relations which happened, some which existed before you even found out you existed, others which you felt did rather exist not. how many such? a mother, father, sister, brother, friend, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grand father, friend, husband, lover...every day a new relation. every day a new name to an unknown face.
the saddest part of these supposed to be comfort zone of relationships is the expectation part. you expect a mother to be loving, caring, forgiving...a father to be protective,someone to admire, to emulate, a grandmother is your mentor, the repertoire of stories, a friend-your shoulder to cry on, your partner in tend to define people by the role they play in your life. in a sense stereotyping relations. and then probably you end up complaining as to how the same relations choke you.
what about those relations which give you the best of everything? which are perfect yet nameless? which have no boundaries and hence no expectations? what about these relationships ?
this time this post is ridiculously random. bringing to light my handicap of not being able to do justice to the
most genuine of thoughts which has been plaguing me for quite some time now....

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

random ramblings-contd

1.they say love is the most splendid feeling in the world. i couldnt agree more. its the best state, feeling, everything. but i wonder why many a person whom we considered ideal matches ceased to be so and why many other relations seem to go on and on as if they have not yet done with their honeymoon. i wonderwhy people take love so carelessly sometimes. i mean if you are sure that he/or she is the right person for you, and they are in your life, why do people take it for granted? nothing works that way. true love comes only once. and to a very chosen few. i would cherish it and give it my evrything. coz thats the only way i know to love. and thts the way i'll always be. it saddens me that people give and spend so much less time-quality time with their loved ones. not just lovers, but all those people who care. if you are in love, cherish it. and treasure it. you are one of thsoe very few lucky ones.

2.bored of boredom!! seriously. these days all i get to do is to breathe. a very time consuming activity which takes place 24X7 and takes up all of my time. who am i kidding? guess boredom has reached new heights. and so has my laziness. imagine getting up at 8 am, waiting for my parents to leave for work at 8.30, go back and hit the sack again and get up at 11, oops i do brush my teeth in btw. sit in front of the paper, yawn at the obvious lack of interesting topics to read, think about having a nice hot strong cup of coffee, but skip it coz making it is a bother and ther's always the washing up to do afterwards, sit in front of my system, log in to orkut, see no one online, well people as unempyoled as me are perhaps rare species. sigh, coz no scraps to reply to. go check my cell. no miss calls no messages. sigh again. lie on the bed. think about something, keep thinking about it even after you wake up, coz thinkin alwys puts me to sleep, a minimum of one hour guaranteed. get up again. put on the tv. see the repeats of soem dumb K-serials. look at 'lookable' guys. switch of the tv. go to the kitchen have food. sleep again.....gosh and its only 12 noon. seriously am bored even writing about my industirous hours...and yes lazy too....signing off. ciao

Monday, May 14, 2007


Etho raagathin thaalamay
Etho naadathin swaramay
Etho bhaavathin thanalaay
Enikkay peythu thorunnu
Ennum ee mazha

Ennum en kali vanjikalkaai
Veeshi ulayunna venjamarangalkkai
Anayathe kathunna en nenjin jvaalakkai
Ennum peyyunnu
Enikkai maathram ee mazha

Ekayam neelambarathin saandramaam koottay
Peythu thoraatha kanneerumay
Maunam vaachaalamaakkunna nombarangalkkai
Peythu thoroo orikkal koodi
Ennum enikkai maathram

Friend or lover?

Hand in hand
We walked on the sand
Beyond the woods
And away from the birds
On a wooden bench we sat

Love was in the air
And sweet was its smell
As eyes met eyes
I wondered

Was this friendship in love?
Or was this love in friendship?
Even as our hands broke apart
I never knew
Was this friendship in love?
Was he my lover or my friend?

Random Ramblings

1. am sick and tired of people making a hue and cry in the name of religion. why cant people let others be? i know it is easier said than done. but its just that opening the morning paper ( the afternoons mostly) to reports of religious violence is pathetic. the recent controversy about M.F hussain and the student from Baroda. are we people so fickle in our faiths that we let fictional novels and cartoons and paintings unhinge us? well ok they could have spared gods and godesses. but just think about it-everyone except most christians welcomed Da Vinci Code and branded it a great read. so is the case with the cartoon of Nabi and the painting of Goddess Saraswati. for heaven's sake, just consider these "ART" and nothing more. my faith is not going to be shattered even if people go about making paintings or cartoons or books about gods. i believe God. in what form he exists is immaterial. let him be krishna, shiva hanuman or Ganesha, he could also be nabi or ?Jesus christ, after all religion is supposed to provide solace to troubled minds, a place where you seek reassurance that your troubles will be sorted out. on the contrary if the same religion is teh root cause of troubles and violence, i'd rather remain an atheist

2. why do i burst out always and end up hurting others? and more often me more than the other person? something like the victim being the victimised. and then again why have i not been able to blast out at that special person? i guess i have answered it myself earlier but it kinda plays on my mind again. did i just become mature with the person concerned or am i actually getting there...maturity i mean!

3.getting lost- this is what i do almost always. no am a pretty good globe trotter. in the sense i do have a fairly good sense of direction. i was talking about my emotions. and the thoughts that my mind conjures. most often i end up where i belong and then end up on a plane very different from the one i started from. its disturbing at times coz i lose track of what i actually wanted to think. but on the flip side, it is really really intruiging, the mind plays.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

a lot of trash

i am sitting here in front of my system, the net connection on, the music turned on(as usual),my animation project taking a while to render(as usual again).my mind is at its confused best. its taking long winded yet quick journeys through oft traversed paths, leaving me confused,elated but for the most part drained. its funny how sometimes thinking of beautiful things leave you exhausted and drained and funnier still how you laugh thinking about those times when you had shed a tear.

here i was, with practically nothing to do, though from somewhere a guilty voice reminds me of many a promise made, i chose to ignore it. and carried on with my nothingness, my mad thoughts for company. am in one of those moods when everything is going smooth and yet i walk around with the sky-has-fallen on my head air. i cant seem to get out of it. or should i say i was and am not trying? i guess so. but what the heck.

if i could just move as fast as my mind does or at least put a rein to it, and take time to rest in the shadow of some pleasant memories that my mind deemed fit to travel through...i would perhaps get out of my moods faster. but there is one weird thing, once i get in one of those moods, i kind of enjoy being in them, in the sense i dont exactly revel in it or have a 100 watt smile in place, but i dont try too hard to get out of it,one reson for it perhaps bein that i enjoy being in good spirits all the more after i get out of my moods.

i dont know what i ahve written here. another indication of my state. i guess i have gotten myself convinced that i am in a bad mood. and that too without any slid reason. no not without any.i do have my reaosns. but reasons which are baseless and about which i can do nothing about.and perhaps those reasons which are putting me off betetr remain that way.coz i couldn ask for a better life than the one i am leading now. and i really cant afford to be demanding, when god in all his benevolance has given me so much.

signing off after having written nothing...or what seems like nothing

Oru Chembaneer Pooviruthu ...

Oru Chembaneer Pooviruthu njanomale
Oru vela nin nerkku neettiyilla
Enkilum engane nee arinju
Ente chembaneer pookkunnathaay ninakkaay
Sungandam parathunnathaay ninakkaay
Parayoo nee parayoo parayoo nee parayoo
(oru chembaneer)

Akame niranja snehamaam maadhuryam
Oru vaakkinaal thottu njaan nalkiyilla
Nira neela raavile ekaanthathayil
Nin mizhiyile nanavoppi maaychathilla
Enkilum neeyarinju en ninavennum
Nin ninavariyunnathaay
Ninne thazhukunnathaay
(oru chembaneer)

Thaniye thelinja raagamay sreeraagam
Oru maathra neeyothu njaan mooliyilla
Pular manju peyyunna yaamathilum
Nin mrudhumeni onnu punarnnathilla
Engilum neeyarinju en manamennum
Nin manamariyunnathaay
Nine thalodunnathaay
(oru chembaneer)

just thought of posting of my favourite songs...
the lyrics mean a lot...especially these days....