a lot of trash

i am sitting here in front of my system, the net connection on, the music turned on(as usual),my animation project taking a while to render(as usual again).my mind is at its confused best. its taking long winded yet quick journeys through oft traversed paths, leaving me confused,elated but for the most part drained. its funny how sometimes thinking of beautiful things leave you exhausted and drained and funnier still how you laugh thinking about those times when you had shed a tear.

here i was, with practically nothing to do, though from somewhere a guilty voice reminds me of many a promise made, i chose to ignore it. and carried on with my nothingness, my mad thoughts for company. am in one of those moods when everything is going smooth and yet i walk around with the sky-has-fallen on my head air. i cant seem to get out of it. or should i say i was and am not trying? i guess so. but what the heck.

if i could just move as fast as my mind does or at least put a rein to it, and take time to rest in the shadow of some pleasant memories that my mind deemed fit to travel through...i would perhaps get out of my moods faster. but there is one weird thing, once i get in one of those moods, i kind of enjoy being in them, in the sense i dont exactly revel in it or have a 100 watt smile in place, but i dont try too hard to get out of it,one reson for it perhaps bein that i enjoy being in good spirits all the more after i get out of my moods.

i dont know what i ahve written here. another indication of my state. i guess i have gotten myself convinced that i am in a bad mood. and that too without any slid reason. no not without any.i do have my reaosns. but reasons which are baseless and about which i can do nothing about.and perhaps those reasons which are putting me off betetr remain that way.coz i couldn ask for a better life than the one i am leading now. and i really cant afford to be demanding, when god in all his benevolance has given me so much.

signing off after having written nothing...or what seems like nothing