Custom Search

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

being there III

Vikram helped them negotiate with publishing houses day after day, month after month. After 6 months of not hearing from anyone tempers were running high.

“It’s just been six months. People wait for eternity to have their works published. You should have patience.”
“And some things never get published, even after the people who wrote it is dead”
“Come on Nidhi. This is your first attempt. Give it time.”
“I never wanted to do this in the first place. You forced me into it.”
“I was trying to help you. I thought people needed to read you Nidhi.”
“Well I was doing better without anyone reading me.”

She walked out off the room and him out of the house.

“Mmmm...No. Not tonight.”
She pushed his arm away from her as he tried to caress her breasts.
“Sai, I think we should move to another home”
“Huh?” A confused voice responded
She turned around to face him. He took the opportunity to kiss her nose and snuggle into her.
“Yeah! We need to change homes. I don’t like it here. There is something wrong somewhere. I don’t like the feel of this home”
“You women and your feel” he chuckled and tried to kissed her neck.
“Am serious.” She said, pushing him away and sitting up on bed
“But Nidhi....., we’ve lived here for 2 years now. I love it here. This home is’s so us....”
“Please Sai, listen to me. There is something wrong.”
“Nidhi, tell me what is wrong. You don’t seem yourselves these days. And I can’t imagine what is wrong with our home or you...” he leaned over and switched on the lights.
“Don’t switch on the lights. They will come.”
“Who will come? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I don’t know Sai...I don’t scared....please let’s move out from here...Please....”

As she snuggled into him and slept off, her whimpers dying into the dark, Sai sat clueless...wondering what was wrong.


Preeti Sharma said...

This is building at a good pace. Just a small suggestion if I might - even in the parts that have fast paced conversation going, a little description / emotion, occasionally gives relief from long passages of conversation. Good writing!

vrinda said...


thanks for peepping in..will def keep tht in mind wen i write next :)
thank u

suji said...

waiting for next part(s).. :-t

vrinda said...

@ suji

actually am waiting too...

Usha Pisharody said...

Just read Parts 1 and 2 , after part 3...:) Very me.. wanting the last part before the first, lol!

You have a fine, easy natural style, that it becomes quite interesting to the reader and makes him/her want to come back for more.

I would have, however, liked a little more detail perhaps, to flesh out the narrative and colour the emotions. Just a thought..:)

As it is, it makes for very very interesting reading. And sure, I will be back for the next part:)

vrinda said...

@ glad i havent written the fourth part yet...would ahve killed the suspense for u....

i sometimes find a lot of detail boring and jarring when i read...i guess it reflected in my writing too...very little detail...i want ppl who read to figure out the details...its what i do when i read..but again...:)

i'l surely keep this in mind when i write the next part..

thanks for reading :)

Matangi Mawley said...

wow! it s going gr8! awaiting the next part.. n yes-

u have an award.. do visit my blog for details!