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Sunday, August 10, 2008

being there. part II

She took up journalism after her masters, and he went on to do his M.Arc. After 3 years of courtship, they decided to move in together. Within the olive green painted walls of their new home, she wrote for a newspaper, and he toiled under a demanding company.

“ I think you should really write a book. All those scribbling you do should be read by people.”
“ You read it right? I don’t think anyone else will want to read it”
“ You will never know that unless you publish some of you works”
“ Its too much work”
“ Its not. I will help you out. Proof reading and all”
“ I don’t now Sai. I don’t have the confidence”
“ Come on. I trust you. You can do it”

A lot of cajoling, and pressurising and boost ups later, Nidhi sat down to begin her first book.

Getting a publisher was one thing, and it didn’t help that Nidhi was still apprehensive about her work. Every rejection was hard and depressing.

“ They dint want it did they?”
“ No” he sighed “too simple a plot”
“ Its ok I guess. You loved it. Its more than enough”

He stood watching her. She was going around the room with a broom in hand.

“What are you doing? I see you with a broom at almost every other day. It’s not like you”
“Cockroaches. Everywhere. I am driving myself mad with trying to drive them out”
“ Buy Hit. Spray it all over. More effective than brooms”
“ Doesn’t work. Brooms are the best”

12 comments:

Rauf said...

one and two, more to come i think.
No rocks, no resistance, no froth, your style is like a silent smooth flowing river with heavy under current. Too fast. You can slip in some details. Those who want to read it will read it even if its a bit long. You have already grabbed the reader's full attention in the very first paragraph. Now you can take it easy and go into details. Very few write about ordinary people and ordinary life and make it interesting. Good work Vrinda

sreejith said...

you have an excellent language skill.....then going in to the minute details of life is interesting.....keep writing....waiting for the next part... :-)

with regards,sreejith

vrinda said...

@ rauf

you flatter me....am glad i manage to sustain your interests as you read...
it is really comments like yours that make me feel that my writing is jst not for me, but also for all who ahve the patience to read me...

vrinda said...

@ sreejith

I will be posting the next part(S) as soon as i can...

thank you for reading and liking it too :)

Matangi Mawley said...

i was glued.. ! tht was a smooth and cute a read..awaiting next part..

vrinda said...

@ matangi
thank u for visiting :)

will try to upload the next part as soon as i write it, or rather i figure what to write

suji said...

brooms..aww, u r d best.. as in, not for cockroaches..:-D
wat am doing here without "being there.part 3":-)

vrinda said...

@suji

i dont think i quite like the idea of equating me with brooms :P
still...hee hee

yeah! wat exactly are you doin here?
u shud be reading part III

Zeinab said...

Had a look-in after two months I guess. So I read your story inside-out, so to say (Parts 3,2, and 1 - in reverse order).

Didn't like Part 3 and Part 1. Part 2 is very good.

You mix it up very well - you write really shoddy things - such a the jute bag having a 'minimum of hundred pockets' - and you write brilliantly, like in 'brooms are best (for killing cockroaches)'.

All the best, but pay some attention to what you write - for example, 'boost up' is overkill, boost means lifting up, etc.

But what I really liked was how the cockroaches invaded her life - it's a very good literary technique, the story suddenly assumes a different plane altogether. The cockroaches can be imaginary, and you've left it hanging at that grey zone wonderfully.

Anyhow, if you have a story, please send it in one post...easier to read, rather than having to read wrongside up...unless of course if you want people to read it so.

vrinda said...

@zeinab

welcome back...
u give some of the best candid comments and i love it...

i know its tedious to read stories that spill over into 1,2 and 3 or more parts...but the thing is I wrote them in parts, and i couldnt not post them as soon as i wrote them...so the publihsing in parts, also, if i put it all in one, there is a chance that people may be put off by its lengths...so my reaons for having a story in parts..

about my sentences, i'l try not to bring in more shoddy sentences, but more readable ones...i promise...

glad to have u back here...was missing ur comments...thank u

Practical Dreamer said...

Strong autobiographical Flavour?!

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