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Thursday, October 2, 2008

The animatedness of inanimation

I guess life has been opened and closed simultaneously for me. There are new things everyday and also the old things. There is nothing happening on some days, while a lot, though nothing particularly significant (usually) that happens.

It is nice to think about someone all the time, miss him,his touch, his smile, but also miss a lot of inanimate animate things like a missed call, a message, a scrap. Sometimes I think it’s so worthless to be in this state that I am in right now. This over invasion of inanimate things in my life. But then, there is no other animation that happens. Then again, if not for these inanimations, I am at a loss as to where and what I’d be doing.

It seems perfectly natural to miss one person constantly, think about what he would be doing, which side of the bed he sleeps on, how much tooth paste he puts on his tooth brush, the amount of stubble he might be growing now. It also seems incredulous that I spend my time on this. But again, to come back to what I was saying, it all seems so natural.

If I’d chose to do something other than the ones that I’ve mentioned prior, it shocks me that there would be nothing. True, I might write, I might paint, but there is this constant thought process going on somewhere, almost involuntarily about just one person.

Sometimes I think obsession is bad. But then again, it’s not so bad at all. Is it?

I enjoy my state of mind usually, and I just don’t mean the “good” state of mind. I also mean the not so good, and the worse. But what happens is that the thoughts which i enjoy in these frames of mind differ. The whole missing part which seemed so romantic a short while ago seems all so wrong and so melodramatic and oppressive. And i get into animated discussions with myself. This however ends in a lot of inanimation.

So there, life- and the animatedness of inanimation.

14 comments:

Abhi said...

Wow. So, so true.

Though, for me, it isn't usually that good a state of mind.

vrinda said...

@abhi

hmmm....for me the "usually" stands for a persisitant always...

Abhi said...

well, that's even better if that persistent always is a good state of mind :)

crumbs said...

sheesh, you'd be such a disgrace in a feminist theory class! ;)

vrinda said...

@crumb

ever wondered y i dint take up the feminism course? one was you-know-who and the other is this..hee hee :P

vrinda said...

@abhi

good bad worse...does it matter as long as you enjoy it?

Sashu... said...

i cud so relate to it..hehe! makes me smile!! enjoyed it vrinda!!

vrinda said...

@ sashu

glad to know i have company :)

Abhi said...

@vrinda : who said i enjoyed it? :|

ViNi said...

my..my..someone in tis part of the world, far away from me, thinks the same. Onli diff, one wrote to express, the other sits, reads and cld onli reassure that she isn't alone..:->

vrinda said...

@ vini

Ah! so now am also a mind reader
*evil grin*

ViNi said...

telepathy..i suppose..:O my..my..*wink*

vrinda said...

Vini tsk tsk

Sandeep Balan said...

the animatedness of inanimation...he he...the post was as good as the title...another one on obsession...the most addictive of emotions...handled well...true true true...