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Friday, October 3, 2008

Rain Clouds

You told me rains were tears of the clouds. You told me you wore bangles because you liked to listen to them talk to each other. You told me that you loved the way the beach sand sticks on your soles. You told me you loved to make patterns in the sand. You said nothing beat coffee. You always insisted on drawing a smiley face with the ketchup bottle on your plate after you were done. You liked waving at trains. You loved lying on your back and watching the clouds till the night swallowed the sun, and you could see them no more.

I walked with you in the rain, because I knew you put wet towels on my forehead the next day, if I fell sick. I bought you bangles, smiling at the way you listened to them talk. We walked on the beach together, letting the wet sand tickle our toes. I took pictures of all that you drew on the sand, and pinned them up on my wall. I insisted on lying on my back with you watching the clouds, while I studied the way your lips moved while you spun stories about clouds.

I knew you hated early mornings, preferred white roses to the red ones, I knew you washed your hair with coconut oil and amla, that liked your coffee with more milk and less sugar, I knew the way you laughed, gasping for breath, and clutching at your sides. I have seen you cry, the way your lips quivered and the tears always came out of your left eye first. I knew the way your hair always came undone, strands that kept falling into your eyes. I knew the way you held my hands and squealed when you were excited. I knew the way there would always be silences between us, where you’d be near, yet so far, and I waited for you to come back to me. I knew the shops you went to, the food you ate, the worst coffee you’d ever had, the worst fear of yours, your biggest dream to sail on a yacht alone, with Orhan Pamuk and Marquez for company. I knew the books you loved, the way you could never like Howard Roark, I knew the passwords to your e-mail accounts, the combinations to your number lock, I knew how hard you tried to learn to whistle...

I thought I knew everything about you. I thought we were perfect.

But I never knew that you never loved me. Until you left.

12 comments:

crumbs said...

do you realize what a curious kind of combination the latest two posts of yours make? :)
both are, in one way or the other about obsession, and I guess the kind of love that can kill...
fiction rules huh?

vrinda said...

@crumbs

what if you add the posts before thsese two too? love can definitely kill. in one way or the other..

Sashu... said...

gave me gooseflesh!! intense n a really nice one!!

vrinda said...

@sashu

:)

Abhi said...

for every fiction, there is some real life inspiration. Behind every sentence, every detail, there is a story, never expressed in words before.

and every heartbreak brings out a fiction-writer in all of us :)

Anonymous said...

I don't know why I had to come upon your blog to read this post of yours...

There used to be a time when i walked in the rain without an umbrella, when I would go about everywhere with a camera wanting to store away moments and memories, a time when I read up on bird watching, turned vegetarian and stopped smoking...

without knowing that all these were of no significance at all...

and now " i walk in the rain so people dont see me cry"

you brought back so many memories which i thought i had fogotten...I dont know whether to thank you for a beautiful post or curse you for bringing back memories...

R

Anonymous said...

but you do write well...

R

vrinda said...

@ abhi

point noted :)

vrinda said...

@ R

Am sorry you had to come upon my blog to relieve forgotten memories..
but I hope you do keep visiting, and find something that makes you feel better...

Sonal said...

I love the way you capture the miniscule details that make life. Im a big fan of that. tee hee ;)

vrinda said...

sonal
thank you...little things mean so much in life..prob one reason why they play so much in anything that I write too... :)

Sandeep Balan said...

the first and the second para are simply fantabulous....it could not have been better...love hurts..more so when it dawns on you that the castles you built were in thin air...and it required only a wind to blow it away....this one is straight from the heart....