silences

this is killing me the silences...how long can one lie down listening to the rain drops? the wind? the birds twittering? forever would have been my answer sometime earlier.not anymore. its maddening. i roam about my home aimlessly my feverish head telling me i need to lie down but somehow am fed of lying down. just lying down with nothing to do or lets say not having enough in you to do anything, when all you have to look forward to are the timings of your medicines and the chiming of the clock..no wonder i still feel ill having completely recovered.

its at these times that perhaps hearing a voice means so much. when just a simple 'hello' through the phone across miles speaks more than a million words. its when you actually feel better.

i could not but help think about them then, those who have not been as lucky as us..those who have not been blessed with the gift of speech, and hearing. and perhaps all those who have so much challenges before them. i can always call up the person i want to talk to, just to hear his voice, just to convince myself he is there. i can always put on a music to suit my moods. i can sing when i want to. i can call out to people. i can walk. i can run. i can sit. i can stand. but around us arent there many among us who have been denied these privileges?

as someone once told me...arent we lucky to have eyes that see ears that hear and legs that walk? yes arent we? and yet we forget so much. in the race for finding 'bigger' joys we lose out on these little things which in actuality means so much. can any of us think of a day without having the ability to see? to hear? if when we can't why don't we try to make the most out of our lives? as helen keller said-see as u mite be blind tomorrow, hear-as u might be deaf tomorrow, live-as if u might die tomorrow....

a write up-just like that

perhaps this is one of those very rare times when I've sat down to write not because i am itching to write. but because i have nothing better to do. and also because i have a whole pool of thoughts swimming inside my head and i just want to let it settle than swirling them again and make it murkier still...

i happened to read a blog yesterday of my friend wherein he speaks about complex numbers...definitely not my cup of tea.. but he compared it to life and equated it to the real and complex parts. he speaks about how life would have been simpler if the complex or imaginary part was zero...nil..nought..nothing. and it just occurred to me as to how mundane and boring a life would be if i had everything my way...i would forget to enjoy life. i wouldn't know the sheer jubilation of being up every time i fell down. i would perhaps get bored with happiness. now that i have my share of disappointments and sadness and frustrations and desperation, every bit of luck and joy that comes my way is celebrated...i feel jubilant...but yes cant help agreeing with him sometimes as to how i too wish life were not so complicated...but as someone once told me...the questions that life puts forth are simple...its just that the answers make it seem complex...

i kept thinking yesterday how certain people and situations mean to me...and how people who mattered once don't figure in my life anymore as to how some people who never existed for me become so indispensable today.. and the most disturbing part...as to how me too would cease to exist for many a person, as to how me too would mean so much to many...how it was so easy to talk about something that you'd once wished u'd never have to recall...how mechanically it came out...

i have been scornful earlier of people who were fiercely dependant...i could never understand why they couldnt do things on their own...as to why they had to have someone behind them all the time. even now i am not hugely fond of stickos. and i keep telling my sister not to be one. but then again now that i think about it...aren't i too dependant? i cannot exist a day without rambling off everything that happend from the point i brushed my teeth in the morning to the time when i put on my night cap. what would i have done had i not had anyone to listen to me? to scold me for my stupidity? to mock me for my 'slowness' to spur me on when i needed it, to hug me when i was down? what would i have done? and it makes me feel bad that there have been times when i have been right down scornful in my forthright and perhaps brutal ways of people whom i considered 'weaker'(forgive the deregatory term) than me. but again am proud that i was there for them...but i wish i were a bit more graceful.

and now am stuck as to how to conclude this piece of er...writing!!??i guess i thought writing would help me sort out my thoughts...but turns out i reached nowhere....

me!me!me

Eye Color: Black.
Hair Color: Dark brown/Black.
Rightly or Lefty: Rightly!
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Shoe Size: 9(ya big foot i know!!)
Drink: Pepsi, Coca-Cola,buttermil(yummy)frappe(double yummy)
Holiday: is any day
Number: 6
Ice Cream Flavor: any will do.... loved black current...having doubts ever sinc ppl started reamrkin it tastes like cough syrup
Amusement Park Ride: tora tora.
Season: summer! winter!spring! rainy is the best
Sport:Cricket,tennis,football




Which one:???????

Hip hop or pop: melodies
Rap or Rock: naaaaa
Movies or plays : movies any day
Silver or Gold: Silver!
Hot or Cold: Both
Winter or Summer: winter
Spring or Summer: spring
Operas or Plays: plays...what r operas by the way
Music Old or New: old
Colored or Black and White: both.
Dogs or Cats: Dogs
Black or White: black
Ribbons or Bows: neither
Cars or Trucks: trains


Have You Ever:
Told a Secret: Yes.
Broken a Bone: yes.
Got into a Fight: Yes...verbal and physical. physical biff bang thud with my sister. verbal with anyone who knows to talk
Plotted Against Someone: hmmm...na i guess :D
Been on TV: yup
Been on the Radio: Nope.
Been to a Concert:Yes
Drank Alcohol: nops
Broken the Law: rules yes....just started driving...so guess this will need updatin LOL
Been on an Airplane:yes
Came Close to Dying: na
Won a Trophy or Medal: yuppies
Believe In Miracles: Yea.
Like The Taste Of Alcohol: dunno haven tasted
Believe In Magic: the kind in harry potter? yes!!yes!!yes!!
Have Any Pets: nopes
Plan To Go To College: been there doen that
Wear Hats: nopes
Hate Yourself: No way...am in love with myself
Wish On Stars: when I was younger LOL.
Like Your Handwriting:well its not bad(p.s am being very very modest)
Believe In Ghosts: Ya.
Have A Weakness: Ya..in fact make it 'many weaknesses'

1. The last person I kissed was: No comment.
2. Never in my life have I: been shot at...thinkin of joining the army
3. The one person who can drive me nuts:anyone anyday...its not too hard
4. When I'm nervous: I bite my nails
5. The last time I cried was: er...er....
6. If I were to get married right now :i would change from Miss vrinda to a Mrs
7. My hair: I love my hair....wish it were curly tho
8. Last Christmas: was a regular day.
9. I should be: crazy writing this
10. When I look in the mirror I see: Me... stupid question
11. If I were a comic character I'd be :CAPTAIN HADDOCK
12. By this time next year: I'd be one year,6 months and 2 days older
13. Current status: taken!
14. I have a hard time understanding: why donald duck refuses to wear pants
15. One time at a family gathering: i had to sing coz ppl were refusing to leave
16. You know I like you if: u like me and stop asking too many questions
17. If I won an award, the first person (people) I would thank would be: ma family
18. Take my advice: i have no use for it anyways
19. My ideal breakfast is: no breakfast
20.Given a wish:i would fast forward 5 years
21. Where do i plan to visit anytime soon: HELL N HEAVEN wanna knw hw it luks
22. If you spend the night at my house: You would probably have to sleep on the floor. i dont share my room

23. The world could do without: idiots...am an exception
24. if i saw god :i'll ask him wat does he mean my makin me wait
25. Most recent thing someone else bought for me:chocolate...my survial kit
26. A better name for me would be:anamika
27. I really want to learn: to fly a plane
28. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: another human being...nothing cud be weirder
29. I shouldn't have: everything!! he he....

30. Once, at a movie:i cried because i could ahve bought myself a big chocolate with the money i spent on the 'movie'